I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
