I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
