Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
