??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
