420 ftw
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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