My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Congratulations! We have a period
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