My hand turned me down
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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