Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I think i got beer on your cat.
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