I'm lost and stupid without you.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
