4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
