We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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