I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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