Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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