So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
