how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
