Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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