It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
