Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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