You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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