omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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