I wish i was in the wii world.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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