a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
