I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
