They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
