did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Actions speak louder than pants.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
