What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
