I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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