its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Best friends brother. Beat that.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Randomize
