Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
