Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
