I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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