We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
