I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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