She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
