your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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