The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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