I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
