is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You're a disaster
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