Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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