How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
