I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
