dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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