They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I still have a little drunk in my system
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
