I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
