Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Randomize
