Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
