bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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