ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
