I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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