oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
