i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize