what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
so let's talk penis.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Randomize
