How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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