so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Randomize
