Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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